the confusion of knowledge

Someone sent me an article about how creative people’s brains work differently. It was saying that the whole left brain, right brain thing is incorrect. Creative’s brains are working making connections and working with both sides. The article pointed out that this is why creative people can understand and exist conflicting terms. Coupled with my INFP-ness, it’s no wonder all the understanding can actually make things confusing. I understand all of the points of view, but why do I have to choose one? None of them are “correct”. I choose understanding, it’s the point of view that is above choosing one thing over the other. Not above in a better than way, but in an enlightened perspective, an all encompassing one that is beyond the choice.

The idea of abortion has been on my mind this week too, with the political climate being absolute absurd, and the 43rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The knowledge I had growing up was what was told to me. I was raised Catholic. We saved money in baby food jars and sent them to Birthright. We were told about the evils of Planned Parenthood. We knew that natural family planning was the only acceptable form of family planning, we also weren’t allowed to know much about it until right before you were married. I don’t think you can make very informed decisions with only a little bit of knowledge. This is why I think that the whole pro-life idea is a sham.

We went on pro-life marches with the church. We were encouraged to protest and stand up for what is right. With only a little information, what is right, seems pretty clear.

When you’re protesting with all those people, you see a lot of different groups. Ours was thankfully peaceful. We prayed on the bus ride there, we marched, and prayed and came home. My mom would talk to us about things. From the kids that rode the bus to town and ran off, to the violence and scary things we experienced. I would like to think that all of the parties involved cared about women and children, and their welfare. I think that going to these rallies with the church was part of what enabled me to see it for what it was. No one’s minds were being changed. I realized that quickly. I also began to understand other things – like how the largest demographic of women who have abortions are Catholic. I remember being upset about how people would talk badly about the women having abortions. I remember saying, “Well if a woman who had an abortion showed up at your door and asked for food, wouldn’t you feed her?”

It was beyond me, that all of a sudden, I was at a point where I understood what they wanted me to do as a person of the faith, but also where I was capable of taking action as a young adult. I could see that others were not taking this as seriously, the young adults or the adults. I didn’t understand how their hate fit into my “WWJD” view of how to love others.

I got over my religious upbringing by learning more about it at a Catholic just-turned-coed- from- all -women’s – university. I FINALLY got the history of women in the Church. I finally understood, and that enabled me to let it go.

I had more information, a LOT more information, and things were less clear. I hoped no one would ask me if I was pro-life or pro-choice, because once again, I can’t choose either. It’s an all encompassing perspective. The best answer I can come up with is that I’m a feminist and a pantheist. All life is sacred, and not to be taken lightly. I love each person, and want them to do what is for their highest good. I want each person to be able to achieve this in their life. We are not to judge the decisions of others. We should only work on loving everyone we can, on educating, on supporting. We need women to be free, so that humanity can be free. The fight isn’t between pro-choice and pro-life, it’s about tearing down a wall of misunderstanding and judgement. I think that education is the key to solving every problem we have, and that when people are educated, and do everything in love and respect, our problems will solve themselves.

So yes, my brain works differently.

“It is both, a blessing and a curse, to feel everything, so very deeply.”


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