for the haters in my circle

There’s this whole thing about how the internet isn’t real. I get it. If you remove the internet from our lives, it doesn’t effectively change who we are. But it is a real extension of ourselves. It’s our knowledge and connection. It’s lots of invisible things that are really important to us in some way, individually, or collectively. So it’s not really separate. We can’t treat it like it doesn’t matter, because clearly, in our current day, it’s pretty darn important to most of us.

Please be conscious of the energy you bring into this space – physical or virtual

Being an INFP personality type, I have a tendency to see the best in people – not just that, but I see their potential and capabilities. It’s maddening to see this in someone, as a full and functional part of them, but they aren’t acting from this part of themselves. It’s taken me a while, and some hard lessons – REALLY HARD lessons to understand this concept. I feel like it’s a beautiful part of me, though, that I can see someone’s authentic form, removed from all the patterns they’re currently in. What’s difficult now is what do I do about it, now that I understand the phenomenon?  I remember people giving me knowing looks or asking me strange questions or making strange comments at various points in my life.  It was like they knew something I didn’t know. Maybe they really saw me… I wish they would have said more.

What I do know is that I SEE YOU. Which means, I see through your patterns that are currently in play. I want to say something to you, so you stop giving in to the passive aggressive hatefulness of the internet, but I don’t know how to go about that without it being taken the wrong way.

If you’re someone on my news feed, it means that I see the good in you. I don’t expect everyone to be all happy joyful light all the time. In fact, I am all about embracing your shadow selves, and finding out what’s going on in there. But there is no room for hatefulness. If you were talking to me in my home, would you say those things? If you did, I certainly wouldn’t laugh, and I certainly wouldn’t let it slip by. Because I love you, I would ask you about the comment you made. Maybe you don’t understand how it’s hateful, sexist, queer-phobic, racist, etc. and you think it’s funny because you don’t get the scope of the problem and how you’re part of it’s perpetuation.

To the “it was just a joke” crowd, who thinks “feminists like me take things too seriously”. NO.  NO “I’m just joking!” NO “I’m just saying!” NO “Sorry, not sorry!”  You don’t get to dismissively say hurtful things. YOU are accountable for your words and actions, not ME or anyone else. YES, YOU have free speech, but YOU do NOT have immunity from repercussions of said free speech.  YOU are putting that energy out there, YOU are being part of the perpetuation of racism, sexism, etc. YOU have the power to make the choices, so YOU need to recognize it for what it is. NOT FUNNY, okay?  Instead of arguing and telling me I took it too seriously, just recognize and apologize. We’re all human, it’s okay to learn things.

If you want to argue against my viewpoint – please ask yourself, what is the threat?  It’s certainly not me. The battle is within you, not to succumb to the easy, passive aggressive hate that is so popular within society. I am merely shining a light on that subject. I am saying look at this thing, do you really want this thing? I think you deserve better than this thing. I think we all do. 

Know that my heart, that speaking up and saying something, is in alignment with my very best intentions for you. I feel sad that other people might see these posts and think badly of you. Maybe they won’t see past this post, to who you really are. YOU are valuable in your authentic form, and I wish you, and everyone else to know that person. 

I think that we all understand the concept of bullying, and understand why it is awful. I think we all know it in it’s extreme forms. But it doesn’t happen like that in real life. In real life it’s insidious and happens 100 times a day. Recognizing micro-aggression is way more difficult. Often times, I feel it, and know it, but don’t know the best way to react to it. I’m working on that. I’m open to learning better ways to communicate love with people who are hurting and angry and don’t even know why. I do know that while I can help, while I can give insight, support, love, and kindness to someone, they are always the one holding the keys. 


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